SATIRE: It’s rough being a celebrity

Aurora Rohrer, Staff Writer

DISCLAIMER! THE FOLLOWING PIECE IS A SATIRE PIECE!  DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!  THE KELLY KALL DOES NOT CONDONE THE USAGE OF DRUGS!

Celebrities are people, just like the rest of us.  They lead normal lives like us most of the time, but with the huge difference of being famous. But sometimes the celebrity life proves to be too much to handle.  For example, some of these amazing people take drugs. Who wouldn’t want to follow these icons?

Drugs are very easy to access and when taken, you feel different and less stressed. The is most likely why celebrities take them. Their lives are so hard, especially having to deal with money, so they need something to take off the edge. Each and every celeb has a different experience with different types of drugs. For example, Lindsay Lohan has taken so many that we don’t even know where she is now, isn’t that the type of model we want? Celebrities doing drugs is so common that a reality show called “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” was created. It takes a toll on us because we see how tough their lives really are.

The best part is that even actors, athletes, entertainers, etc., can take as many drugs as they want and it doesn’t affect their job whatsoever. According to Madonna she admitted that she has taken everything at least once, that’s pretty cool. The world would be so much better if everyone had Snoop Dogg’s attitude towards drugs.

The singer Pink once said “I don’t consider pot a drug, it’s a plant. It comes from the Earth. George Washington smoked pot” that makes a lot more sense now that we think about it.

Also let’s not forget the celebrities who died from drug overdoses, although it’s tragic, they must’ve been living their lives to the fullest. Some of the biggest icons died from overdoses, such as Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Chris Farley, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, etc.

Going to social events, performing, or making movies must’ve drove them to drugs. Maybe these people were thinking it could help them with their health problems in the long run. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, etc., could definitely take away many, many health issues or disorders, so we should follow their example.